You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize
