I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
