I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
