Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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