Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
worst night to have a conscience
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
vagina is talking i cant
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
