If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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