Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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