Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh god it's open bar.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
