Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
