Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
