So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
