So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
