he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
