Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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