I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
