my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
