So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
