we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
