ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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