Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
