so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
