This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
