Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
