1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Your face is a jimmy john
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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