white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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