This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
