afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
