She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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