I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
