lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
