She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
