So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i think i just lost a toe
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
