do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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