Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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