Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
