You really coming over, don't trick.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
