Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
