What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
