Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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