whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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