areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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