The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
