he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
