He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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