It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
