if you like me you must not know who I am
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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