I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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