oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
