dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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