Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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