im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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