Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
