Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
